Outside the Comfort Zone

In last week’s post on winter running, I took issue with some of the alleged “favorite things” that Julie Andrews so famously celebrated in The Sound of Music. Unfortunately, since I wrote that post, the song has been stuck in my head. I keep hearing that damn list of favorites over and over again. I wake up in the morning with images of raindrops on roses and fall asleep at night thinking about whiskers on kittens. As a result, I have spent a lot of time evaluating these items. I’ve decided the time has come to pass judgement on them, to see if they are really worthy of the musical adulation they receive. So let’s run through them, shall we? And for some holiday fun, I’ve decided to rate them on a holiday-food scale: Fruitcake (yuck, need I say more?); Gingerbread cookies (mixed: yummy when warm from the oven, but undesirable if they are cold and stale); and Hot Chocolate (the good kind, from Burdicks, rich and piping hot, a genuine treat).

Raindrops on roses: I’ll concede they are nice and certainly make for wonderful closeup floral shots. However, let’s be clear, there are only raindrops once it has rained, which means your feet are probably getting wet as you gaze upon the flowers. Verdict? Gingerbread cookies.

Whiskers on kittens: Why just the whiskers? Why not the whole kitten? If the line was “cute fuzzy kittens,” I’d agree, but whiskers? The whiskers aren’t even that soft. And besides, I’m allergic to cats. Fruitcake.

Bright copper kettles: They are pretty to look at, and with copper prices being what they are these days, they can probably fetch a nice sum on eBay. Hot Chocolate.

Warm woolen mittens: Wool itches. And it smells funny when it gets wet. SmartWool wasn’t around back in The Sound of Music days, so I have to go with Fruitcake.

Brown Paper Packages Tied Up with String: Sounds like a mail bomb. Definite Fruitcake. Someone call 911 to get the SWAT team over here before that suspicious package explodes.

Cream Colored Ponies: “Ponies” as in racing horses? Could go either way: they might bring in some nice winnings, or they might be the gateway to a nasty gambling habit. I have to say Gingerbread Cookies.

Crisp Apple Strudel: I am not a huge Apple Strudel fan, but I can see how others might like it enough to call it a favorite. Depending on the baker, I’m willing to go with Hot Chocolate.

Doorbells: Ours is broken. Fruitcake

Sleighbells: Seldom heard and quite festive. Hot Chocolate.

Schnitzel with noodles: If I am eating carbs, it’s not noodles, that is for sure. And although schnitzel might be fun to say, it also sounds like a euphemism for something else entirely. Fruitcake.

Wild Geese That Fly with the Moon on their Wings: Unusual, to say the least, but I can see the appeal. Unfortunately, wild geese can be quite nasty and aggressive at times. And they poop a lot. I have to say Gingerbread Cookies.

Girls in White Dresses with Blue Satin Sashes: A pretty image, but as a mom, I can’t help but think of how hard it is to get stains out of white. Gingerbread Cookies.

Snowflakes that Stay on My Nose and Eyelashes: As I mentioned in the Winter Running post, my experience suggests that the snowflakes do not stay, they melt. Then water then drips off your nose or runs into your eyes. It’s irritating at the very least. And if the snowflakes are not melting it is because either it’s so flipping freezing that you can’t keep your skin at a surface temperature above 32 degrees or you are dead. Fruitcake.

Silver White Winters that Melt into Spring: Any hope of Spring deserves Hot Chocolate. Because right now Spring seems far, far away. Fortunately the Hot Chocolate is quite nearby. I think I will go have some, maybe with a Gingerbread Cookie (but not the dreaded Fruitcake).