Outside the Comfort Zone

As of right now, this very minute, I am not signed up for any athletic event of any kind. It has been well over a year since I have been able to say that. As my friend Lauri would say, I’ve got a big fat boatload of nothin’ on the calendar. The Austin Half Marathon in February is lingering on the edge of my mind, but just barely. Yes, I am looking at some halfs in the spring, but those are small races that I won’t even think about until March. My friend Ilyse is talking Turkey-Trot with me, but I have yet to pick a date and race. At this very moment, for the first time in over 18 months, I am not training for anything. No wonder I feel so adrift.

Contributing to my adriftiness (not a word, but should be, since it is so fun to say) is the fact that my college roommates came to visit this weekend, and they seem to be anything but adrift. They all have successful careers that generate actual income, as opposed to my piecemeal “work” which merely helps defray expenses from this nasty fitness habit that I have developed. I have never given a second thought to my lack of successful career, but suddenly I find myself awash in a sea of inadequacy.

My big accomplishment this year, of course, was my Half-Ironman, but I am not even sure my roommates knew what that was. The whole triathlon thing is so confusing to the uninitiated. Sprint? Half? Full? To most people, they all just blend together under the moniker “triathlon.” They know someone who did a triathlon once, and he/she swam a little, biked like 10 miles, and ran 3. So, if I did a “half” it must be shorter than that right? Um, no. It took me pretty much all day. Actually, it seemed like it took the better part of a week, but I think my brain is exaggerating. And then, on the other end of the spectrum, are people who know exactly what a 70.3 is, and don’t find it the least bit impressive because they do 140.6s.  So, although the Half-Ironman was my major event this year, is totally unimpressive to those who know (ie, people who do full ironmans) and totally unimpressive to those who don’t (ie, the rest of the general population). It was a big deal to me, but no one else really cares.

But then again, most of the things that have been a big deal in my life aren’t noteworthy to anyone else but me. They simply don’t rate. A friend of mine just became a federal judge. Now that rates as a big deal. Winning a Pulitzer? That rates. Being a doctor, lawyer, high-powered businesswoman?  All of those rate. Sitting on the couch typing on the computer in between doing races that I am not very good at? That does not rate. For a minute when we were on vacation in Laos, I thought I might come home with the baby who fell off the motorbike, and THAT would have rated, but alas, I didn’t. In spite of this year being filled with major personal accomplishments, I realize that nothing I have done really rates as a big deal on paper. But you know what? I don’t care. I am remarkably content with my life and how it is progressing. The problem comes when I have to present my life to other people. So really, what I have here is not so much an achievement problem, but a marketing problem.

What I need to do is rebrand all the minutiae of my life to make even the most minor accomplishment sound so-very-uber-important. This is especially true during the off-season when I don’t have any events to write about. So while I may not have posts about a marathon I ran, I triathlon I finished, or a novel I wrote, I can still boastfully post that I finally took the car in to be serviced. Or that I caught up on all the laundry, every last sock in the house. Or that I went to yoga and was able to do that damn gomukasana pose without bursting into tears.

The Off Season means taking it easy, and I plan to do that in a grand style. To hell with productivity. I am reveling in my adriftiness (there is that wonderful word again). I am embracing my lack of achievement. I am going to develop a marketing plan to celebrate my dearth of noteworthy accomplishments. It’s not about what you do, it is about how you present it. And trust me, no one accomplishes nothing quite as well as I do.